I wouldn’t be sharing the full story if I didn’t focus at least one day with my own struggle with other Body-Focused Repetitive-Behaviours (BFRBs). As some Trichsters do, I’ve developed other types of BFRBs over the years. I believe my journey with BFRBs began as a young child as a very bad nail bitter, or in BFRB terms Onychophagia.
Since I began pulling my biggest focus has been hiding it. Thats not easy to do. I rarely pull in the presence of others, if I do I aim to be discrete. So as a coping mechanism, and because BFRBs of all kinds can go in hand-in-hand, I also live with dermatillomania, and cheek keratosis. Big words for other parts of my daily reality.
It’s not uncommon to see me picking a scab on my head, I put it there. Sure it may have started as a dry spot , but it certainly won’t stay that way. Picking a scab until it bleeds, starting a wound where the wasn’t previously one, the annoyance with any imperfection. The repetition of these types of behaviours are common place in my life. Gross perhaps, but thats not the way I and millions of other Canadians see it, we can’t help it. It hurts sometimes, unlike my hair pulling. Some BFRB sufferers pick their legs and arms, the skin from around their fingers or their faces. I also pick the skin around my cuticles or my face- That is dermatillomania.
I started biting my cheeks (cheek keratosis) as a way to fight the urge to pull, on live television broadcast throughout Prince Edward Island. Sitting on stage at the UPEI Convocation Ceremony, having just botched a speech in front of thousands, I was stressed, but watched. Texts from those watching started to explode my phone:
“Why are you making that funny face?”
“Stop being odd.”
“You look funny.”
“You look weird stop making faces.”
Welcome the funny face into my world. I’m often seen with a funny face, lop-sided smile; I’m chewing the inside of my cheek. Of all the BFRBs I live with cheek keratosis is one that is most prominent as of late. I chew the inside of my cheeks, creating wounds, and sometimes it hurts , but mostly my jaw just reaches fatigue due to the weird movement. Although I still dislike cheek biting, I feel it’s more socially acceptable, and so its become my go-to. Still painful, still frustrating, but still part of me.
This is not a complete list of BFRBs, or the fullest of their reality. Visit The TLC Foundation for BFRBs to learn more, or check back later today for my compiled synopsis.
As always feel free to join the conversation, ask questions, like & share.